Beyond The Darkness – Chapter 1
“She’s in love with you. You know that, don’t you?”
“Martha over at Denny’s?”
“Martha loves everybody who tips her fifteen percent.”
“Then who are you referring to?”
“You know who I’m referring to, Dad, so don’t act coy.”
“I have no idea who you’re referring to, young lady.” He looked like he genuinely didn’t know.
“You just took her out to lunch.”
“Darcie O’Sullivan?”
“Darcie O’Sullivan? Yes, Darcie O’Sullivan. You can’t see that she practically twitches every time you two meet?”
“There’s nothing romantic going on between us, Lexi.”
“I know that, Dad. That’s why Darcie’s twitching. I bet she’s running a fever right now.”
“The only reason we had lunch, the only reason we ever have lunch, or just meet for coffee, is to discuss Cassie.”
“That’s your reason, Dad. It’s not Darcie’s. She wants you to forget Cassie and realize that there’s a red-headed, red-blooded, and very attractive female staring you in the face who would drop everything for you, and I mean everything, if you gave her the least encouragement.”
“Well, she’s living on a false hope, because that isn’t going to happen.”
“Why, Dad? Cassie isn’t coming back, you know that. And even if she did, how would you be able to accept that she killed a man in cold blood?”
“She killed in self-defense. On one occasion she killed two of Diamond’s men who were about to finish me off.”
“What about Diamond himself? He wasn’t a threat to either of you when she shot him, how many times was it? Three, four?”
“Five.” It hurt him to say it.
“Five. She wasn’t leaving anything to chance, was she?”
“Anyone who had been through what she went through with Diamond and his men would have done the same thing, Lexi.”
“But you’re not trying to make house with anyone else. And I know that any kind of a life for you with Cassie would be impossible.”
“Why are you so keen to keep me away from Cassie and hooked up with Darcie? I thought you and Cassie were soul mates?”
“I can’t stand to see you eating yourself alive, hoping that things might yet work out for you with Cassie.”
And as I said those words, I suddenly realized that my eagerness for my father to pursue Darcie O’Sullivan had nothing to do with any concern to see him happy. In that instant I knew that I wanted Cassie for myself. I had wanted that since the two of us were lying on my bed at Perris Beach and I kissed her. Not the kiss of two friends, but of a young girl who was captivated by that free-spirited and mysterious woman. As I recall that incident now, I remember how I had pressed myself hard against Cassie until she drew away from me and left me feeling a moist warmth between my legs. It was the first time I had experienced a feeling like that, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Now I knew. I was in love with Cassie Monroe.
“Why do you think you’re in love with Cassie, Dad?”
“Why do you think I only think I’m in love with her.”
“Well, I can understand the sexual attraction, she’s a beautiful girl, but I don’t see you dedicating yourself to a life of lust.”
“It’s not lust, Lexi. And when did you decide that you were old enough to be discussing your father’s personal life?”
“You don’t have anyone else to discuss it with, Dad.”
“And you have decided that I need to find a sounding board?”
“Don’t you? You mope around all day with a glass in one hand and a half empty bottle in the other, and I can’t stand to watch the life ebbing out of you. You need help, Dad.”
“And you think you have the answer?”
“No, I think Darcie O’Sullivan is the answer. What is it that’s holding you back with her? Don’t you find her attractive?”
“Yes, I do, but there are many kinds of attractiveness, Lexi.”
“And what’s your preferred brand, Dad? A girl on the run?”
“I don’t see any point in continuing this conversation, Sweetheart.”
“Well, that is exactly the point, Dad. You try to avoid dealing with anything.”
She was silent for a moment, digesting the thoughts that were racing through her mind. Now she knew that it wasn’t just to keep Cassie for herself. She had to try to rescue her father from his self-imposed imprisonment.
“Did you love the Swedish girl, Dad?”
“You mean Eva?”
“I couldn’t remember her name. Yes, Eva. Did you love her?”
Trumper pondered the question. It was one he had fought against considering ever since her death.
“At the time, I don’t think I thought of it as love.”
“What did you think it was, then?”
“She was a girl in trouble. She had no one else to turn to.”
“Just like Cassie.”
“That’s what you think?”
“Girl in trouble. No one to turn to. Hey, I’m Bradford Trumper, the notorious hero for damsels in distress. I think I should love this girl.”
“That’s your assessment of your father, is it, young lady?”
“Don’t look at me like that, Dad. I’m trying to help you survive.”
“What happened to Darcie O’Sullivan? I thought she was the answer?”
“I think she is. But you can’t see that, so I need to help you. You know, Dad, you have a very bad track record with women. And it’s your impossibly high sense of moral decency that keeps getting you into trouble. The Trumper factor.”
He was silent.
“Nothing to say to that, Dad?”
“Oh, you’re looking for a response? I thought you were giving your valedictory address.”
“I don’t know what that is, Dad.”
“It’s when the smartest kid in the class tells everyone else how to run the rest of their lives when they’re leaving school to make their mark in the world.”
“I think I’d be good at that.”
“I’m sure you would. And I’m sure one day you’ll be giving that address.”
“Yeah, good way to change the topic, Dad. Back to the matter at hand. Darcie O’Sullivan. She doesn’t have the qualifications, does she?”
“What qualifications are you referring to?”
“Desperation. She doesn’t need a Savior. She just wants to love you. Why can’t you accept that, Dad?”
He said nothing.
“You’re not Jesus Christ, Dad. You don’t have to hang on a cross. Eva’s dead. Cassie’s gone for good. Mum is the coldest, most heartless woman I ever want to meet and if she ever came back into your life I would be gone like Cassie. And then there’s Darcie. Beautiful, smart, a girl with a bright future that she wants to share with you, Dad. And here’s the icing on the cake with the cherry on top. She hasn’t shot anyone. Do yourself a favor, Dad.”
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do, Lexi.” And he poured himself another whiskey.
Lexi slowly walked over to her father, bent down and kissed him on his forehead, then she turned and went to her room. He could hear her sobs through the noise of a half-filled glass.